17 Oct New Post Every Three Week Approach
Hi Everyone,
So somehow my once weekly blog has devolved into a once every three-or-so-weeks blog, but it just can’t be helped because I’m just so busy. What with work, and eating, and sleeping, and working on fine tuning my procrastination techniques, a girl just can’t find the time for blogging’; but I will try to do better in the future, some far off distant future where transgendered Republicans out number heterosexual Democrats 2 to 1 in the U.S Senate.
HRT Letter and Other Milestones
When I’m not busy avoiding my blogging machine I have actually been getting a few transition-related things done.
Earlier this week I got my HRT Letter! This is a really big, and really important accomplishment for me at this point in my transition. As many of you may already know, I’ve been self-medicating on HRT for about 7 years, and getting myself on a legitimate, monitored and approved HRT regime for effectiveness and safety, as well as support, and as part of my overall coming out strategy, was one of the original driving forces that moved me towards the decision to come out in the first place. So, reaching this milestone is a major achievement, and packed with emotion – good and scary.
The last few months I’ve spent just about every waking moment thinking about some aspect of my transition; what’s my next step, what do I need to do accomplish this month, what do I need to accomplish this week, where am I supposed to be today, which doctor or provider do I need to make an appointment with this week, how am I going to pay for all this this month; I walk through my typical day like anyone else and go to work, take care of family stuff, and spend an unusual amount of time trying to make myself look fabulous. So while life marches forward, I really, except for this blog and some online discussions, I don’t spend a lot of time deeply pondering or even enjoying my actual transition, which is, by definition, a piece of my life that I should be enjoying, but at the moment it just consumes an awful lot of time with little emotional or physical immediate reward, but at the end of my most recent therapy session, as I was receiving my official diagnosis, all of my life and all of my transition, and all of my time and emotion and pain and joy and hard work and frustrations all came to a wonderful apex with just a few simple words from my therapist; “…you were female at birth and assigned a male identity, a mistake that now we can correct.”
Time stopped. I ‘m not going to describe the feeling, because I don’t have the skills to. I can tell you that I swallowed deeply, I weighed nothing, I couldn’t laugh, or cry, or smile; I think I tried to shake my head, then I smiled and everything got blurry.
So as my visit to the therapist was coming to an end, and as if to gently propel the cloud I was floating on gently forward with words as the source of locomotion, my therapist said that I “project the essence of a woman, I could tell I was talking with a female spirit”, and then, she called me a lady.
That was my session for my diagnosis and HRT letter, but also, and I’m not really positive about this, I think my therapist – actually therapists, there are two of them working in concert, I think they are also drafting my SRS letter(s) for submission now or in the future to my choice of surgeon(s); I should probably know if that’s the case next Tuesday.
So, this has been a pretty wonderful week for me, and I’m still getting used to my new place in the World, that place in the World that has been quietly waiting there for me for over 55 years. I am the World’s newest woman; yeah for me!!!!
Well that’s it for now, thanks for reading,
Love,
Friday
10/17/2012
FAK